A few people take feedback well. 

Most of us would say that getting feedback is great but come on let's face it there are times when we all find it difficult not to get defensive when we are on the receiving end of feedback. 

It's very useful it is to train yourself on receiving feedback cause if you can handle feedback well, this will encourage others to give you guess what? more feedback but the positive side is that this gives you more opportunity to develop yourself and enhance your performance. It is also important to remember that you don’t have to action every piece of feedback you get.  The following guidelines can help you to be a good receiver of feedback.


1- Ask a lot of questions to make sure you have enough information about any negative feedback.

Asking Questions if you are not convinced or feel that you don't have enough explanation is very important when you are in the receiving end of feedback, ask the person giving the feedback, ‘Can you provide more examples or information?’ , Be clear about what is being said. Try to avoid jumping to conclusions or become immediately defensive. If you do, people may cut down their feedback or you may not be able to use it fully. Make sure you understand the feedback before you respond to it. A useful technique can be to paraphrase or repeat the criticism, to check that you have understood.

2-Make sure the person giving you feedback has the evidence to support it .

If an example seems unsubstantiated, look for concrete example ask, ‘What have you seen or heard me do that tells you that?’

3-Focus on Behavior not personality.

Rather than getting upset, defensive, or angry with the other person, do your best to remain objective and neutral. Ask, ‘What have you seen me do or say that leads you to this conclusion?’

4-Find out exactly what’s required.

Don't rush into challenging or proving the feedback is untrue, Instead, ask the other person, ‘What specifically do you want to see or hear me do differently?’
Feedback can be uncomfortable to hear, but it can be extremely useful. People may think things without telling us and then we may be at a disadvantage. Remember that people do have their opinions about you, and will have their perceptions of your behaviour, and it can help to be aware of those. However, do remember that you are also entitled to your opinion and you may choose to ignore it as being of little significance, irrelevant, or referring to behaviour which for some other reason you wish to maintain.

5- Always remember that feedback is for your own benefit

No matter how hard the feedback is, think about it and try to use it to your benefit , think of and consider every feedback you receive that its for your own benefit.

6- Check it out with others rather than relying on one source

If we rely on one source, then we may imagine that the individual’s opinion is shared by everybody. In fact, if we check out with others, we may find that others experience is different and we will have a more balanced view of ourselves which can keep the feedback in proportion.

7- Ask for the feedback you want but don't get

keepin in mind that feedback can be so important that we may have to ask for it if it does not occur naturally.

8- Feel free to acknowledge the effort of the giver and decide what you will do as a result of the feedback

Each of us needs to know how other people experience us to extend our self-awareness, which is incomplete if merely our own version of themselves. So we can use feedback to help our own development. When we receive it, we can assess it’s value, the consequences of ignoring it or using it, and finally decide what we will do as a result of it. 

For more on giving feedback and conflict resolution, check out our Conflict Resolution instant download training package.