Getting feedback sounds helpful in theory. In practice? It often stings. Even when well-intentioned, feedback can feel like judgment. That’s normal. But learning to receive it calmly—even the tough kind—can change how others see you, and more importantly, how you grow.

🤔 Why Feedback Can Be Hard to Hear

Let’s be honest: it’s easy to get defensive. But if you train yourself to handle feedback well, people will be more willing to offer it. And that gives you more chances to grow. You don’t have to act on every piece of feedback—but you should aim to understand it fully before reacting.

Quick story: Sarah, a project manager, once got the comment “You need to be more proactive.” At first, she was upset—it felt vague and unfair. But instead of reacting, she asked for examples. Her boss said: “When issues crop up, you tend to wait for me to jump in. I’d like you to take charge of smaller decisions.” That conversation helped her step up in her role, and changed how leadership saw her.

💬 8 Ways to Get Better at Receiving Feedback

1. Ask clarifying questions. Unsure what someone meant? Ask: “Can you give an example?” or “Can you explain more?” Don’t jump to conclusions. Paraphrasing what you heard can help you check your understanding.
2. Ask for the evidence. If a point feels vague, ask: “What did you see or hear me do that led to that conclusion?” This keeps the feedback grounded in behavior, not opinion.
3. Separate behavior from personality. Stay neutral. Ask: “What exactly did I do or say that led you to think that?” Don’t assume they’re attacking your character.
4. Clarify what’s expected. Ask: “What would you like to see or hear me do differently?” This turns criticism into actionable insight.
5. See feedback as a gift, not a threat. Even if it’s hard to hear, assume there’s something useful in it. You don’t have to agree, but consider it thoughtfully.
6. Check in with others. Don’t rely on one voice. Ask a few trusted colleagues how they see it. You might discover the issue is isolated—or part of a wider pattern.
7. Ask for feedback proactively. If you’re not getting enough input, request it. “What’s one thing I could do better?” is a powerful question.
8. Acknowledge and decide what to do next. Thank the person—even if it was hard to hear. Reflect on it. Decide whether to act or set it aside. That’s your call.

📘 Backed by a Proven Model

Many of these techniques align with well-established frameworks like the SBI Model (Situation, Behavior, Impact). Want more structured practice? Pair these ideas with trainer-led activities in our coaching and feedback course material below.

🧭 Your Perspective Still Matters

People will always form opinions about you. Some fair, some not. Listening doesn’t mean you must agree. Weigh what’s useful. Discard the rest. Growth isn’t about pleasing everyone—it’s about learning from what’s true.

🔗 Related Resources

Explore your coaching and feedback style with our Coaching Skills Self-Assessment.

Want to build both giving and receiving feedback skills? Check out our Conflict Resolution Training Material Package.

📦 Want to Train Teams on Receiving Feedback?

Download our ready-to-use Coaching People training material package—perfect for trainers, coaches, and team leads delivering feedback-related sessions.

Coaching People – Full Training Material Package

• ✅ Editable trainer guide, slides, and participant workbook
• ✅ Step-by-step delivery instructions
• ✅ Real-world coaching scenarios and discussion prompts