Rapport = Results

Rapport makes communication smoother. When people feel seen, heard, and understood, they’re more open to working with you. Whether you’re handling a customer, leading a team, or collaborating with peers—rapport is the shortcut to better outcomes.

“Establish rapport before expecting anyone to listen to you.”

Why Rapport Matters at Work

Strong rapport helps you connect across differences. It doesn’t mean pretending to be like everyone else—it means noticing what matters to them and adjusting how you communicate. People tend to trust, follow, and open up to those who meet them halfway.

For example, imagine a manager giving feedback to two team members. One responds well to direct talk and firm eye contact. The other prefers a gentler tone and more space to respond. Adapting to each style creates better outcomes.

Two Core Ways to Build Rapport

• Match non-verbal communication (voice, body language, eye contact)
• Show genuine interest in the other person’s world

1. Matching Non-Verbal Communication

Non-verbal cues—how we speak, move, and make eye contact—can either draw people in or push them away. Matching someone’s pace and style builds trust without needing to say much. This technique is widely used in counseling, negotiation, and coaching, and is referred to as "pacing" in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).

What to Match Subtly:

• Posture & Gestures: Mirror how they stand or sit.
• Voice: Match tone, speed, and rhythm—not mimicry, just gentle pacing.
• Language: Paraphrase their words to check understanding and build comfort.

Paraphrasing to Build Connection

Restating someone’s point using their own words shows you’re listening and helps avoid misunderstanding. For example:

“So what I’m hearing is that the key concerns include X, Y, and Z—does that sound right?”

This not only confirms understanding, but reassures the person they’re being taken seriously.

Using Eye Contact Effectively

Different people have different eye contact habits. Pay attention and adjust your own style to match theirs. Also be aware that eye contact norms vary across cultures. In some contexts, sustained eye contact signals respect; in others, it might feel intrusive.

Common Eye Contact Styles:

• The Fixed Stare: Rarely blinks or looks away. Can feel intense or dominating.
• The Darting Glance: Quick, fleeting glances. Often avoids eye contact during conversation.
• The No-Eye-Contact: Looks away almost entirely. May be shy or reserved.
• The Balanced Style: Natural, comfortable mix of looking and looking away.

Adjust Your Style Based on Theirs:

• Fixed Stare: Hold steady eye contact but break it occasionally. Use nods or affirming sounds.
• Darting Glances: Keep your gaze softer and shorter. Too much can feel aggressive.
• No Eye Contact: Don’t force it. Use peripheral vision and shift your focus gently.

In business, to project confidence without being overbearing, focus your gaze in the triangle between the eyes and forehead.

Pacing Before Leading

You can’t influence someone if you’re out of sync. It’s like jumping on a moving bus—you need to run alongside it first.

In conversations, this means:

• Listening closely
• Acknowledging what they say
• Matching their tone and pace

Once they feel understood, you’ll be in a better position to offer your view and move the conversation forward.

2. Take a Genuine Interest in the Other Person

People want to be understood—not sized up or rushed. When you ask questions about what matters to them, they open up. This creates fertile ground for rapport to grow.

Ask about:

• Their role or challenges
• What motivates them
• Their interests or goals

6 Simple Ways to Sharpen Your Rapport

1. Get curious about what’s important to the other person—before expecting them to understand you.
2. Listen for their favorite words or phrases and weave those into your response.
3. Notice how they process information—big picture or detail-focused? Mirror that.
4. Listen between the lines. What’s their underlying goal or intent?
5. Mirror their posture, tone, and energy—subtly, not robotically.
6. Respect their resources: time, focus, values, people. Treat them as priorities.