Even with the best intentions, coaching often misses the mark. As busy managers, it's tempting to tackle performance issues at the surface rather than digging into the root cause. And when we rush to fix instead of listen, coaching becomes a checklist—rather than a meaningful conversation.

🔍 What’s Going Wrong?

We often want to jump into action—to solve, to fix. But real coaching starts by slowing down. Before jumping to the “how,” pause and ask: what’s really going on here?

🗣️ Try a Narrative-Rich Discussion

Encourage your team member to tell their full story. Let them share not just the facts, but the emotions, the context, the missed cues. Narrative-rich conversations reveal far more than a quick debrief ever could.

Example: When reviewing a report, avoid jumping to conclusions. Instead, ask questions like:

• “What are we hoping to achieve with this report?”
• “What will the reader need to know right away?”
• “Does this guide the reader through our logic and intent?”

🧠 People Learn in Different Ways

Your team isn't one-size-fits-all. Each person has a preferred learning style—and coaching should adapt accordingly.

• Event-Oriented: Thrive on action and hands-on experiences. Learn best by doing.
• Review-Oriented: Need time to reflect and gather all the facts before acting.
• Insight-Oriented: Seek structure and logic before they feel confident to act.
• Challenge-Oriented: Question everything. Learn best when they can explore and test ideas.
• Application-Oriented: Focused on results. Learn when they see a clear link to their work.

Have you taken time to figure out how each of your team members learns? Are you adjusting your coaching approach to fit?

Take the VAK Learning Styles Questionnaire

💡 Beliefs Drive Behavior

Every person you coach brings their own worldview—shaped by values, experience, and past feedback. And their beliefs affect how they act, how they learn, and how they see you. Your coaching can only succeed if it helps them explore and adjust those beliefs when needed.

🧍 Personal Bias and the Coaching Dynamic

Let’s be honest—it’s easier to coach someone you like. But coaching isn’t about comfort. Whether you’re naturally drawn to someone or not, your awareness of how those feelings affect your behavior is what counts. Ask yourself:

• Do I give more leeway to some and not others?
• Am I unintentionally harder on team members I like?

Bias isn’t a flaw—it’s human. But unchecked, it distorts the coaching relationship. Stay aware. Stay fair.

Adapted from Real Coaching and Feedback by Karen Smart – a practical, people-first guide to improving coaching effectiveness.

📦 Want to Build Your Coaching Skills?

Train your team to give better feedback and hold more productive coaching conversations with our Coaching People training material package:

Coaching People – Full Training Material Package

• ✅ Editable trainer guide, slides, and workbook
• ✅ Real scenarios and activities
• ✅ Easy to tailor for live or virtual sessions

🎯 Want to assess your own coaching ability? Try our self-assessment quiz:

Evaluate Your Coaching Skills – Free Assessment Tool