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Activity-Negotiation skills- Push / Pull Activity

Overview

This quick and powerful exercise highlights two fundamental approaches to influencing others in negotiation: pushing and pulling. Pushing often creates resistance because it involves force or pressure, while pulling engages reasoning, explanation, and alignment with the other person’s perspective, which reduces resistance and fosters cooperation.

Materials Needed

  • Open space for movement
  • None else – minimal setup required

Directions & Setup

  1. Ask half of the participants to step outside the room for about two minutes.
  2. While they wait outside, explain to the remaining participants that when their partners return, they will pair up. Each pair will ask their partner to raise their arms in front of them with palms facing outward.
  3. Round 1 – Push Approach: Instruct participants to gently push their partners’ palms without offering any explanation. The goal is to persuade their partner to move across the room. Expect participants to instinctively resist being pushed.
  4. Round 2 – Pull Approach: Now, instruct participants to ask their partners politely to accompany them across the room, providing a reason for the request. Observe how most partners follow willingly with little or no resistance.

Debrief & Discussion

  • Which round felt more natural or effective overall and why?
  • How did it feel to be pushed with no explanation? Were you defensive or resistant?
  • How did your mindset change when someone asked you politely and gave a reason?
  • How does this activity mirror real negotiation dynamics and influence techniques?

Learning Points

This activity clearly illustrates that people naturally resist being forced or pressured. However, when they understand the rationale behind a request and feel involved in the decision-making process, resistance decreases, and cooperation increases. This aligns with negotiation principles emphasizing empathy, respectful dialogue, and aligning interests.

Facilitator Tips

  • Reinforce safety—ensure all pushing is gentle and consensual.
  • Encourage participants to reflect on feelings evoked in both roles: being pushed and being asked.
  • Invite participants to consider how they currently use push or pull techniques in negotiation.
  • Share real-life application examples where pull strategies led to better outcomes.
  • Adapt for virtual training by using paired video breakouts and verbal requests with rationale.

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Use this simple but effective activity to demonstrate how influence techniques impact cooperation. Equip your team with practical insights on choosing pull approaches to achieve more successful negotiations.

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FAQ

Is physical contact required for this activity?
Not at all. You can run a no‑contact version: in Round 1, give firm, rapid commands (the “push”), and in Round 2, make a respectful request with a clear reason (the “pull”). The learning point is about how you influence, not touching.
What group size works best?
Pairs scale well. For large groups, run multiple pairs simultaneously. Keep the whole exercise to ~15 minutes: 2 minutes setup, 3 minutes per round, and a short debrief.
How do I keep it safe and inclusive?
Ask for consent, demonstrate gentle pressure, and offer the no‑contact variant. Avoid participants with injuries for the push version, and ensure enough space to move.
Can I run this virtually?
Yes. Use breakout pairs. Round 1: one partner issues a series of forceful directives (push). Round 2: the partner reframes the same request with reasons and benefits (pull). Debrief on emotional responses and compliance.
What should I emphasize in the debrief?
People resist pressure and follow reasons. Link to interest‑based negotiation: ask, explain why, acknowledge concerns, and align with the other party’s goals.

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