Feedback isn’t just about pointing out what’s wrong. When used thoughtfully, it becomes one of the most powerful tools in a coaching conversation. Sometimes, simply helping someone see something they didn’t notice can shift performance. But often, feedback kicks off a deeper discussion—one that uncovers beliefs, habits, and ways of thinking that are holding someone back.

When Is Feedback Needed?

There are six common situations where feedback helps move coaching forward:

• They don’t fully understand the goal or what change is expected.
• They lack self-awareness about how their behavior impacts others.
• They’re stuck in a narrow or overly critical self-view.
• They hold a belief that’s getting in their own way.
• They’re unmotivated, reverting to old habits, or need appreciation.
• They’re not learning from experience or reflecting on past results.

Neutral, Not Judgmental

Good feedback is neutral and specific. It doesn’t carry frustration or judgment. Even if a team member has missed deadlines or disappointed others, your job as a coach is to stay focused on what’s helpful for their improvement. Ask yourself:

• Am I stating observations that a neutral observer could agree with?
• Am I focused on what they need to know, not how I feel?
• Am I open to alternative views, not just my interpretation?

Start with Observation, Then Ask Questions

Begin with what you saw and what it led to. That sets the tone. Then ask a question that helps them reflect:

"I noticed you cut off the customer mid-sentence and redirected the conversation. What was going through your mind at that moment?"

This encourages dialogue, not defensiveness.

Let Them Tell the Story

When people tell their story in their own words, they often reveal more than they realize. Ask:

• “Walk me through what happened.”
• “What were you thinking at that point?”
• “What options did you consider but not choose?”

While they talk, listen closely. You’ll spot patterns, beliefs, and assumptions beneath the surface. That’s where the coaching begins.

Shared Insight Beats Top-Down Advice

Even if you’ve figured out the issue, lasting change only happens when the other person sees it too. If emotions are high or if the issue is sensitive, let them speak first. Once they’ve been heard, they’re more likely to listen. Then, bring your feedback into the analysis and co-create a way forward.

Don’t Skip the Deep Dive

Once you’ve discussed behaviors, shift the focus to characteristics:

• Which skills or habits are helping?
• Which attitudes or beliefs are getting in the way?
• Where do they think they need to grow?

This level of insight turns feedback into real development planning.

🔗 Related Resources

Want to improve your feedback technique? Try our Coaching People for Better Performance training package.

Take the Coaching Skills Self-Assessment to evaluate your approach.

📦 Coaching Tools That Save Time

Everything you need to run a coaching session—organized, editable, and ready to go:

• ✅ Trainer guide, workbook, and editable slides
• ✅ Structured feedback examples and analysis prompts
• ✅ Scenario-based practice activities

Download the Coaching People Training Package