In conflict situations, the way we express ourselves matters just as much—if not more—than the content of what we say. Words can escalate tension or open the door to resolution. This short guide outlines what to avoid and what to aim for during any conflict resolution conversation.

🗣️ 1. Use “I-Messages”

Instead of accusing others, speak from your perspective. “I felt ignored when my emails weren’t answered” is far more constructive than “You never respond.” Blame-based language triggers defensiveness. “I” messages encourage understanding.

In one facilitation workshop, a manager blurted out, “You always sabotage my plans.” The room tensed up immediately. After reframing it to, “I felt frustrated when my suggestions weren’t considered,” the conversation turned more collaborative. The shift in tone changed the direction of the discussion entirely.

Avoid language like:

• You always
• You never
• You should
• You didn’t

🧭 2. Be Brief and Clear

Long explanations often confuse the message or sound like justifications. Keep it focused. State your point clearly and then stop. Repetition doesn't add value—it adds frustration.

📌 3. Be Specific—Avoid Vague Language

Clarity helps people take action. Vague statements leave room for misinterpretation. Avoid terms like:

• As soon as possible
• If necessary
• Wherever appropriate
• When convenient
• More or less

Instead, use specific phrases such as:

• By (date and time)
• No later than
• Completed on
• Via company e-mail

📘 Teach Constructive Language in Conflict

For trainers and managers, teaching your team how to speak constructively during disagreements is crucial. Our Conflict Resolution Training Package includes editable modules, real-life examples, and activities to help your team build stronger, more respectful communication skills.