One of the most successful ways to manage anger is to channel or redirect it. it's not only that channeling your anger still gives you a way to vent and let out the anger but it also directs that anger into positive energy and react in a logical controlled manner that transforms the situation to your advantage.
Assertiveness and reflectiveness are healthy anger styles that represent the optimum ways to cope with anger.
When we are assertive, we let people know when we do not like something in a very direct way.
We do not blame; we do not whine; we simply state our grievance in a calm yet forceful manner. When we are reflective, we allow ourselves to feel our emotions but then thoughtfully analyze the situation to better learn from it. We don’t rationalize or make excuses for the other person’s behavior and we don’t blame ourselves, but we look at the situation in a fair, open-minded way in order to see both sides of the situation more clearly. If there is something we need to communicate to the other person, we are in a much more calm frame of mind to do so.
When we are reflective, we allow ourselves to feel our initial anger at a situation or person but refrain from acting out our anger. We give ourselves time to calm down (however long that takes), then we think about why the situation occurred, what we can learn from it, and what steps we wish to take to prevent it from occurring again. This may or may not involve communicating our feelings and needs to others in an assertive way.
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