Giving negative feedback is one of the hardest things to do in the workplace. It’s uncomfortable. It can trigger emotional reactions. And it always feels risky. But avoiding it can lead to worse outcomes—bottled-up frustration, poor performance, or bigger conflicts down the line.

🧠 Before You Speak: 4 Questions to Ask Yourself

Before delivering tough feedback, pause and reflect. These four questions can help you prepare for a more effective conversation:

1. Will they get upset—and how will I handle that?
   It’s natural to want to avoid conflict. But ask yourself: can you afford not to say anything? Staying silent often leads to:
   • No behavior change—they simply don’t know there’s an issue.
   • Future blowups when tension builds over time.
   • Unspoken strain in your relationship—they sense something’s off, even if you don’t say it.
   Giving feedback gives them a chance to grow. That’s the point.
2. Will it damage the relationship?
   It could. But there are ways to lower the risk:
   • Build trust before issues arise. Show empathy and fairness.
   • Give feedback with care, not criticism. Speak from shared goals, not personal judgment.
   A strong relationship can handle a tough conversation. Sometimes, it gets stronger because of it.
3. Will they actually hear what I’m saying?
   Don’t assume. Ask them to paraphrase what they heard: “Just so I know we’re on the same page, can you reflect back what I said?” It reduces misunderstanding and shows you care about clarity.
4. Will it change their behavior?
   That depends. Do they accept the feedback? Do they know what to do next? Help them walk away with:
   • Clear action steps—what they’ll do differently, starting when, and how they’ll track it.
   • A shared understanding of what success looks like—and what happens if nothing changes.

💡 Tips for Giving Negative Feedback That Sticks

• Don’t delay. Give feedback soon after the issue—when it’s still fresh and actionable.
• Be descriptive, not judgmental. Talk about what happened, not what you think it means about them as a person.
• Focus on behavior they can change. Don’t bring up personality traits or make sweeping generalizations.
• Make it their choice. You can’t force someone to change—but you can be clear about the consequences of not changing.

📘 Real-World Application

Negative feedback doesn’t have to feel negative. With the right approach, it becomes a tool for growth. Want more examples and structured practice activities? Explore our Coaching People training package.

🔗 Related Resources

• Coaching Skills Self-Assessment
• Conflict Resolution Training Material Package

📦 Need to Train Managers on Tough Conversations?

Get the Coaching People training material package—ideal for trainers and leaders who need to deliver performance feedback without damaging morale.

Download Coaching People – Full Training Material Package

• ✅ Editable trainer guide, participant workbook, and slides
• ✅ Realistic workplace scenarios and action planning templates
• ✅ Clear trainer notes for leading tough feedback sessions